#29 - The small ways in which you can show others they belong
This isn’t the newsletter I meant to write this month. But it’s the one I needed to. It reaffirms that every conversation matters and that our language choices have the power to include or exclude.
This isn’t quite the newsletter I promised you. This edition was meant to be a follow-up to last month’s piece The Subtle Scripts of Everyday Prejudice: How Conversations (Often) Go Awry. But if I’m being honest with you, I didn’t have it in me to revisit that topic so soon.
I’ve often said that my work is predicated on hope. But in truth, writing about the language of prejudice and discrimination can sometimes feel very heavy. And lately, it’s felt like a little too much.
At my core, I’m a positive person. My work has the most impact at the interpersonal level, not in tackling systemic injustice1, but in helping people notice the words they use, the meanings they carry, and the ways they can connect more consciously. I fundamentally believe that every conversation matters. That we all have a sphere of influence. And that better language can lead to better, more inclusive personal and professional relationships.
With that in mind, I wanted this month’s issue to start from a more hopeful place. I’ll return to the themes from last month in a future edition - once I’ve had time to reset. For now, join me in exploring the quieter side of inclusion: the small, often-overlooked ways we use language to acknowledge, affirm, and uplift the people around us.
The subtle tones of inclusion
We often think about inclusion in macro terms - policy changes, public pledges, big DEI initiatives. But inclusion also lives in much smaller places. It’s shaped not only by what’s said in the spotlight, but by the small, nearly invisible language habits we carry with us every day.
And often, it’s the smallest words that land the deepest and can have a big impact on those around us.
This issue is, in essence, about micro-acknowledgments - the subtle, intentional expressions that tell someone: I see you. I’ve got you. You matter. You belong here.
What are Micro-Acknowledgments?
If microaggressions are the paper cuts of language - small wounds that accumulate - then micro-acknowledgments (and affirmations) can be the balm.
Micro-acknowledgments are quick, specific, and affirming moments of verbal recognition.
Source: Picture credit @KimberlyMoffit
They sound like:
“Thanks for raising that, I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Just to build on what [Saleem] said earlier…”
“Can you help me pronounce your name correctly?”
“I really appreciated what you shared. It stayed with me long after we left the call.”
“I want to make sure we don’t move on without hearing from you.”
“You brought this up last week…do you want to expand on it now?”
“Let’s circle back to [Lucy]’s point - it needs more airtime.”
“Thanks for saying that. It helped me see the issue differently.”
They don’t take long. They’re not particularly flashy or high-concept. But they mean something.
Why they matter
Micro-acknowledgments don’t solve injustice on their own, but they help create environments where people feel:
Safe enough to speak up
Respected enough to stay present
Seen enough to feel like they belong
They help build:
Trust: “You noticed me.”
Inclusion: “I wasn’t overlooked.”
Motivation: “My voice matters.”
And that’s the foundation for every kind of collective and inclusive progress.
5 Micro-Acknowledgments to try this week
In the spirit of practice and not perfection - here is a five-day language challenge. Each one takes under a minute, but the effects hopefully last far longer and have an all important ripple effect.
📅 Day 1: Learn a new name and use it
Names are sacred. They are the first gift we receive from our parents/guardians and they carry culture, tradition and meaning.
Ask someone how to pronounce their name and and use it in conversation. Don’t shorten or skip it. I can always tell when someone I’ve just met is unsure about how to say my name - Sadia Siddiqui - they either gamely give it a go (most often mispronouncing it) or avoid referring to me by name.
The alternative is pretty simple; if you are unsure how to pronounce someone’s name simply say:
“I want to make sure I’m saying your name correctly. Can you say it for me?”
It may seem small, but it communicates a deep respect.
📅 Day 2: Attribute ideas clearly
Give credit out loud and often. Especially in group settings.
“That idea from [Saima] really shifted my thinking. Thank you”
It signals that you were listening and that their contribution made an impact.
📅 Day 3: Offer specific praise
Generic praise feels nice. Specific praise builds confidence.
Instead of “Great job,” try: “Your summary at the end helped refocus the whole team. Thank you.”
Being specific shows someone that they were seen clearly.
📅 Day 4: Pause for the quiet voices
Notice who hasn’t spoken yet. Invite them in but without pressure.
“I’d love to hear from you if you feel like sharing, [Amy].”
Then give space. Don’t fill the silence. Let them come in on their own terms.
📅 Day 5: Follow up thoughtfully
After someone shares something personal or important, circle back later.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier. It really stayed with me.”
Acknowledging vulnerability strengthens connection.
Micro-acknowledgments aren’t performative or fluffy. They’re simple, human, and powerful. They remind us that language isn’t just about clarity, it’s also about care.
We shape culture not through slogans, but through the daily rhythm of how we speak to one another. And every time we say something that affirms belonging, we help create a space for connection.
Inclusion initiatives don’t always need a newspaper headline. Sometimes inclusion is just a name said correctly. A pause. A thank you.
Use your language like it matters. Because it does
June Recommendations:
📻 LISTEN: to the latest season of Articles of Interest which opens with a compelling episode on School Uniforms - how they originated, why they were introduced, and what they were really designed to do. No spoilers, but their history is closely tied to the control and assimilation of marginalised communities.
If you’re interested in the sociology of fashion, I also highly recommend Season 3, which explores American Ivy: the classic, preppy "Ivy League" menswear style that took root in 1950s Northeastern U.S.A and became a quiet symbol of class, race, and aspiration.
As someone who grew up in the UK - where school uniforms are the norm across both state and private education - I found this history both insightful and unsettling. I’m still a supporter of uniforms in principle, but this episode definitely gave me a lot to think about.
You can listen to the Articles of Interest podcast on Apple podcast or Spotify.
📚 READ: This Instagram post from Slow Factory; “How the Media Made the ‘Middle East’ the Enemy”. It’s painful but necessary reading. It explores how vast regions of the world are reduced, vilified, and dehumanised by Western media narratives.
If the title makes you bristle, then respectfully that may be all the more reason to read it. Especially in this political moment, when choosing to look away is itself a kind of position.
As ever, thank you as ever for reading this little newsletter. If you like what you’re reading, please consider sharing it with someone you think would appreciate it too. If you have the time to ‘like’ it by clicking the ♡ that would mean a lot to me, as it’ll help more people see it. Especially given that free newsletters are not promoted by Substack. How mean is that! 😇.
Until next month, take care of yourselves 💛 and each other,
Although the focus of the majority of my work if focussed on interpersonal comms, I’m not naive, I know real change will only come about with systemic and structural changes. My objective is to help people join the dots between the ways in which they operate AND the systems they operate within in turn. It’s all interconnected and my goal is to shine a light on this fact.
I love these tips, Sadia. Thank you!
Thanks, Sadia, as always your insights are wonderful! I am wondering about your Day 4 challenge, whether you could help me with the tricky spot where I might try to give space to someone who really doesn’t want it (for whatever reason, maybe they are extremely introvert or shy, or simply don’t want to speak up at that particular instance). How long do I wait before taking the pressure off them? I assume this is a “read the room” sort of issue, but I was just wondering if you have a good suggestion how to handle it? Should I apologise for prompting them?