This isn’t the newsletter I meant to write this month. But it’s the one I needed to. It reaffirms that every conversation matters and that our language choices have the power to include or exclude.
Thanks, Sadia, as always your insights are wonderful! I am wondering about your Day 4 challenge, whether you could help me with the tricky spot where I might try to give space to someone who really doesn’t want it (for whatever reason, maybe they are extremely introvert or shy, or simply don’t want to speak up at that particular instance). How long do I wait before taking the pressure off them? I assume this is a “read the room” sort of issue, but I was just wondering if you have a good suggestion how to handle it? Should I apologise for prompting them?
Hi Carola, what a good question! This isn't something that occurred to me when writing the issue and so I'm so glad that you asked. From my point of view, if you know that someone is extremely introverted and unlikely/reluctant to speak up, I would NOT put them on the spot at all. This is an instance where you already know how they are likely to respond/their communication style so as an alternative I would suggest:
Pre-chat: I would ping them a note ahead of the meeting and say that you'll be discussing [team feedback mechanics] and if they'd like to contribute something, they can ping you and you can raise it in the meeting for them. Then in the meeting; you can represent them and ensure that the wider team are aware of their thoughts and contributions.
Follow up: In the meeting, make it clear that you'd appreciate any follow up thoughts and would encourage the team to share them + follow up with them individually to reiterate this request. When hopefully you get some responses you can name-check them.
This is the approach I would use for someone in my team, who has already expressed that they do not like to speak up. I'd obviously encourage people to find their voices as this is a life skill but if someone is reluctant - I'm not going to force them as that would be the antithesis of what it means to be inclusive.
If people are generally quiet in meetings but you do not have any additional insight in their preferred modes of communication, then I would say that this is more about reading the room and letting you team know how much you value team contributions and them having a voice is part of building at inclusive culture.
Super helpful, thanks! In general, I feel apprehensive of saying the wrong thing or unconsciously treating someone unkindly or inappropriately. Obviously, I try my best to avoid it, but I always hope that a genuine apology can also be a balm against a micro-cut.
I love these tips, Sadia. Thank you!
Thank you for reading, Diana and I'm so glad you found it useful! :)
Thanks, Sadia, as always your insights are wonderful! I am wondering about your Day 4 challenge, whether you could help me with the tricky spot where I might try to give space to someone who really doesn’t want it (for whatever reason, maybe they are extremely introvert or shy, or simply don’t want to speak up at that particular instance). How long do I wait before taking the pressure off them? I assume this is a “read the room” sort of issue, but I was just wondering if you have a good suggestion how to handle it? Should I apologise for prompting them?
Hi Carola, what a good question! This isn't something that occurred to me when writing the issue and so I'm so glad that you asked. From my point of view, if you know that someone is extremely introverted and unlikely/reluctant to speak up, I would NOT put them on the spot at all. This is an instance where you already know how they are likely to respond/their communication style so as an alternative I would suggest:
Pre-chat: I would ping them a note ahead of the meeting and say that you'll be discussing [team feedback mechanics] and if they'd like to contribute something, they can ping you and you can raise it in the meeting for them. Then in the meeting; you can represent them and ensure that the wider team are aware of their thoughts and contributions.
Follow up: In the meeting, make it clear that you'd appreciate any follow up thoughts and would encourage the team to share them + follow up with them individually to reiterate this request. When hopefully you get some responses you can name-check them.
This is the approach I would use for someone in my team, who has already expressed that they do not like to speak up. I'd obviously encourage people to find their voices as this is a life skill but if someone is reluctant - I'm not going to force them as that would be the antithesis of what it means to be inclusive.
If people are generally quiet in meetings but you do not have any additional insight in their preferred modes of communication, then I would say that this is more about reading the room and letting you team know how much you value team contributions and them having a voice is part of building at inclusive culture.
A super long response but hopefully useful!
Super helpful, thanks! In general, I feel apprehensive of saying the wrong thing or unconsciously treating someone unkindly or inappropriately. Obviously, I try my best to avoid it, but I always hope that a genuine apology can also be a balm against a micro-cut.